MOM

I lost my mom and best friend on 9^th of this year THE 2014. My dad had died seven years before and I missed him but stayed strong for mum. I know she was in her eighties but she was doing good. When she went into hospital in April 2013 (here and here   ) i never crossed my mind i would lose her, after 15 days the Dr said she was well enough to come home. I had everything ready for her. Made her bedroom at our home where she would stay. Since then I was nurse to my mom. I had to help her for everything she needed for life. Although after hospitalization her health had deteriorated I never once thought she was dying. I feel so guilty and stupid for not knowing. She had cold before she went back to her beloved home. I was feeding her and kissed her and said i loved her. During gulping a spoon full of some gruel for lunch  she passed away in front of me.   My world crashed. I have two grown up children, and a cute niece living with me.  But all of them are younger ones.  What and how could I carry on without my mum by my side?
14 days has gone on but I am no better. I think about her constantly and miss her every hour of every day.  Each day I cry. I will never get over it. I try to move on but she was the lady who would hug me, kiss me and tell me it will be ok.  

xoxo