Me, being a
grandparent is not the same as being a parent. I am not the primary caregiver
but I do spend time with my grandchildren. Caring for them is not a question of
just repeating what I did when I raised my own kids. I’ve come to think of
being a grandmother as a new experience that offers great opportunities along
with a bit of uncertainty. Here are some ways I believe grandparents can have
unique connections with young grandchildren that foster them to learn and grow:
Give your
time - it's the greatest gift. A grandparent who stops everything and
focuses on playing and chatting with a young child builds a lifetime of
memories and helps your grandchild learn and grow.
Play WITH your
grandchild. Paint together,
play board games together, play catch, play pretend. When you interact, you
model good sportsmanship, good manners, good vocabulary and so much more.
Tell your stories. Just because you told them to your own children doesn't
mean they'll get passed down. Stories about our experiences are the vehicle we
use to pass down our family and cultural traditions.
My grand- daughter in basket
My grand- daughter with my niece
My grand- daughter with me and her mother My daughter daughter-in -law
Read the old,
classic children's books you enjoyed. They are new to your grandchildren and you make them special because you
have practiced those funny voices and dramatic flourishes that bring them to
life.
Share your
passions. My dad taught my
daughters how to fish and my mom brought them to art museums when I never had
the interest. One became the nature counselor at summer trips and one minored
in art history.
Teach them your
skills. Don't hurry them away when you are
making or fixing something. They will love to be by your side handing you the
screwdriver, helping you plant seeds, or stirring the batter - and they will
learn important life lessons their parents may not have time to teach.
Include them in
conversations. Don't talk over their heads. Ask them questions and show
them how to make good conversation by expressing an interest in other people. I
love when my toddler grandson always turns to me in a restaurant and asks,
"What you having for your dinner, Dadi or Nannie?"
Talk about your
things. Do you have special collections,
antiques, photo albums, old home movies or family heirlooms? Knowing about
them, the stories behind them and why they are important to you will be
fascinating and enriching for young children.
My grand- daughter with My son her father in Pushkar annual fair
My grand- daughter with her father
Keep things the
same. It means so much to young children
when they know there will always be certain toys or other items at the
grandparents' house. I looked forward to Grandma's house because I could count
on the old wooden child-sized “Charpaies” and the convencel games like dice of
cameldung, along with “kabaddi” and homemade sweeta I didn't get at home. My
children still talk about playing with the Haryanvi dolls at my mom's house
year after year. Now my grandchildren go straight for the box of play cooking
utensils at my house because it is something predictable that eases their
transition from their house to mine.
Be the cozy lap,
the warm embrace, the listening ear and the relentless cheerleader that every
child needs to grow up strong, caring and confident. Even if you can't always be close enough to touch, you
can offer the same feeling by phone or computer video chat. What you do with
your young grandchildren really does matter!
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