Remembering Father on father's Day

11 years without you dad.

And yes, 11 years already. 11 years of absence, 11 years of long silence ... and not a day without me thinking of you.

You left. And with you, part of me too.

My mourning has been long. We will say that I have not forgotten anything about you but that I ended up making a reason.

You left. One morning early, it was over.

Like that, all at once. Overnight.

 You were going to start your day, you were neither sick nor hospitalized. Nothing could prepare us for it.

You fell breathless. You are gone for good.

The days, weeks and months that followed were very hard. I think I was in denial.

It's impossible for me to admit this tragedy. My pain was incredible.

That morning, when I heard the news, I had the shock of my life.

My heart jumped and I felt something inside me break.

An old relative crossing me told me "It's comforting, it's good! He did not suffer at least! ".

Good... please don’t say that ! You do not know anything about it.

My father, my darling daddy is dead.

And I lost foot as well as envy.

 Then, little by little, I got up. And I learned to breathe again.

I began to smile again, to walk without faltering, to make plans, to continue.

To accept this immense pain for me in the eyes of my friends.

To assume my own feelings too, this buried wrench.

It's the mother of a childhood friend seeing me who told her that even if my smile was there, my eyes were not there.

My eyes were off. My soul was bruised.

11years, darling dad.

It's long, it's hardly believable, but I succeeded.

I got out of it. I indulged in caring my mother and my father’s adopted daughter (grand daughter)my niece. A little fulfilled and so full of life.

And the flame has been rekindled. Because I hung on and continued to move forward.

So yes, you're gone. For 11 years, in other words yesterday in my space-time.

But I know you're watching over where you are today.

I know you're smiling at us because I'm smiling too.

I also know that if nothing lasts, you must absolutely enjoy life and follow his desires.

I salute you my dad from here downstairs.

I love you and I think of you.

Your darling daughter.

xoxo

Remembering my Dad on Father’ Day

 Reblogged from my prevous post of 2014 HERE

This is the ninth Father’ Day since my late father Chaudhary Surajmal (Flying officer in IAF) passed away from sudden death. But he is on my mind every single day; he visits me in my dreams.  

My computer crashed and it took several days to make it  up that’s why i am posting my Father’s day post today.. 

 

My Dad

                                             My dad in 1955

My dad with  Dilip Kumar  the star legend of Indian cinema

At Delhi on cricket show in 81-82 India vs Pakistan click  Here for details of the match England 1981–82  cricketer Sandeep_Patil  is standing in the pic  left to my dad.
   

And that very day of shifting didn’t’ came in the way of that tradition of our family that day. I remember lots of rain that day but the photographs prove there was lots of sunshine too..............  click HERE for further reading.........