Remembering the Grandmother I Loved and Admired

 

In the past two years of the COVID-19 pandemic, loss has been part of the lives of millions. In “How we remember them”, we reflect on how we process that loss and the things – both tangible and intangible – that remind us of those we have lost.

I learned of grief in 1984 when my grandmother, Sama Kaur, died. I was 30 years old and working in AICRP Project of ICAR, in CCSHAU,HISAR,HARYANA as Research Associate at the time.

My grand ma had to work a lot and there was just no opportunity for women to stay home and take care of their children, she had to take care of cattles (collect their dung, make cow dung cakes clean cattle shed)she had to fetch water from well, churn milk, after household and animal husbandry tasks she had to go to farm for rest of the day and return home at dusk . Just like grand ma, I spent my childhood, all school breaks in a remote village with no electricity, TV or other advantages of civilization. I am not regretting it, it was a very happy childhood. We were always outside, playing, reading, helping in the nohara (A semi-covered area with some boundary for keeping the livestockavar ) and our farm   the whole day. We didn’t have electricity, reading good books with the kerosene lantern  light, no refrigerator, storing the food underground, no washing machine, walking miles on sandy path  and washing the clothes in the pond water, no market in the village , picking up our fresh veggies like guavar fali, channa saag, saangari, kaachri, kaachar,petha,ghiya,tindsi from our farm and bitoda area  (A triangular, open storage for dung-cakes ('Gossey' गोस्से )and getting the water from the well (it was my favorite activity ever!!!).

My  Gandma was a very important person in my life, a hardworking and loving woman. And she left such an important impact on my life. Gandma left Bagar(The areas adjoining Bikaner and to the west of Bhiwani, such as Hissar and Fatehabad were called Bagar, a term meaning 'dry country' in common parlance. The term 'Bagri' was applied to a Hindu Rajput or Jat from the Bagar region.) , her birth place after her marriage when she was 12  years of age and now lives  in Bhiwani District of Haryana.   One year she went  to spend her vacation with her parents who live in her grandparent’s house  and she found there a bag full of yarn that was hand-spun by my grandma’s  grandma  many  years ago. She brought that yarn with her when returned to her own house It was so inspiring and emotional to see this yarn and it was a beginning of a wonderful journey of creating something absolutely unique – raw minimally processed traditional Haryanvi  desi cotton. And this is how my love for hand spun raw cotton yarn developed. And I learned all the spinning related tasks including preparing charkha to spun.

TODAY ON HER DEATH ANNIVERSARY , I REMEMBERED MY GRANDMOTHER IN THIS WAY AND FELT SO GOOD!!!

TODAY IS ALSO THE FIRST SHRADH

GOOD BY GRANDMAAA!