CLOUDY AND HUMID AND WET HISAR, HARYANA Weather at my place- furious wind out of what looks like clear blue sky and suddenly clouds boil up like a children's movie or a bad 80's video. Wind comes from all directions and the birds all shut up. It’s raining every now and then since 2-3 days back. Lately, I have heard many Haryanvi say that this is one of the longest rainy season they have ever experienced in this area since long. Today’s Morning I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, opened the lock of the door, looked outside, there was no one in the park in front of my house. The park was full of water. I didn’t’ dare to go for my morning walk I roasted some garam masala ingredients it filled the house with pleasant aroma. And set them aside to cool…I will grind them into a powder at night after dinner.. Then I went towards Ekta Park, where it looked like a pond. Came back and sat on the PC. Then got up, drank some cold water, prepared my tea. It looks cloudy for much of the district for several days to come. But when I look now, it's actually not that bad. I came out see both blue sky and sun through papri tree ! Then just enjoy it while it's still like that… I took some photos with my phone's camera, my baby Son (he is still a baby to his age)and my daughter too is still like a tyranny girl (When she gets very angry, she starts breaking expensive antiques of my ancestors that were in my father’s possession and gifted to me, in the house ) enjoying their dreamland . I will upload them in the post later on. Have a nice day with tea in front of PC:-) Happy writing!

Shradha of my MOM

I was reading back through my very early blog post the other day, the ones that I wrote in MAY 13,2017 , only 5 year,s ago on mother,s day. It reads ….. “The woman who creates and sustains a home and under whose hands children grow up to be strong and pure men and women is a creator second only to God.” — Helen Hunt Jackson It’s been three years since she died of heart failure. She was 78 years old and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her, but I suspect that when it comes to our mothers we are never ready to give them up. There are many things I miss about mom, but what I miss the most is sharing my children with her.

Mom at 76 years of age Some of my best memories of her are of watching her become a grandmother. She absolutely loved my children beyond measure. She spoiled them with trips to her father’s garden(in village Paposa, near Jamalpur, Bhiwani ) on horse and she loved to take them to our farms. Still my children are very fond of visiting farms whenever they find any opportunity. My mom lost her own mom (Rampyari of village Dangra near Tohana) at the age of 11, she always remembers her mom and told us about her lifestyle and habits that were excellent. There are a thousand things about my mom to remember. My mother was very fond of working in farms. She often used to remember to her trip to her father’s farm( in village KUTUBPUR KI DHANI)on a horse when she was only 11. On that day she was going to fields to give food to the laborers working on their farm. When she was riding on the back of the horse he became a tyranny and rushed fast dropping my mother on the ground. She became unconscious but luckily there was not any injury to her body. After that day my mother hated to ride on horse’s back. I love my mom and feel sorry for her when sometimes I used to tell her harsh words. Mom, please pardon me for my words that may heart you. Although my mom passed away 4 years ago I still think about her almost every day. I loved my mom and appreciate her complete commitment to mothering. The things we shared in common were teaching our children to be inquisitive learners, to be resilient and to love our children unconditionally. Thanks, Mom, for everything!

mom at 22 years of age xoxo and then …. Nostalgic moments I like to start with JAMNAGAR,GUJRAT Hindi High school when we used to wait for the school lunch bell to ring and then rush to our lunch boxes for the food from home prepared by mom. We used to play games with our buddies to find out what was packed in those beautiful boxes with just a tantalizing hint of the scent wafting through them. Opening the lids and finishing not just our lunch but the food of our classmates was a different kind of joy altogether. I often remember the tiffin of my friend Khalida. Her mother was a great cook, she always put a variety of food stuff in her, daughter’s box, although her house was just stone’s through from school but Khalida used to sit and eat with her friends and class mates.

Then came those days when we used to go home once in a while during our vacations from college and not just ask, but demand the dishes that we wanted and our mom used to lovingly cook them, indeed going that extra mile and cooking for us those favorites that even we had forgotten. Burgers, pizzas, gourmet food from up class restaurants and the bland tasteless food of messes and canteens were forgotten as soon as hot, missi rotties, bajra rotties , fluffy phulkas, parathas, dal and sabzi warmed our bellies. Not to forget that we used to shamelessly and even gleefully ask our mom to feed us and she used to do it, despite having toiled for hours in the kitchen and in the agricultural field. And then came the service era, we sit in our offices, our cubicles hunched in front of our laptops, files and portfolios wondering which new restaurant or cafe we are going to try out today we can’t help but feel a nostalgia tinged with a sadness, missing our mom and wishing that she were with us to calm us, pace us and always be there with her love, solidarity and rock-hard strength. When I retired the time came my mom accompany to live with me till she went off to my father in heaven, but don’t know why she never cooked even once , instead she used to chop vegetables and peel lahsuns etc.etc…… There are some things in life which we express easily and there are some which we never speak out like your love towards your mom. It feels very awkward to say ‘Thank you, mom for everything’. But once in a while you have to do it, because deep down we know that these five words barely skim the tip of the iceberg that is the respect, awe, gratitude and love we feel for our mom. I love you mom. …… https://haqeeqat-e-bayan.blogspot.com/2015/05/love-you-mom.html Then I went back to find Sturdy Rug I ever wrote about, and once I was re-living my memories I carried on reading through a whole chunk of my early all India, and arid-zone living that I shared in my Blogland.

It was fascinating, honestly, to see how my writing style has changed over time- in my head I haven’t changed the way I write at all, but reading back I see that my written voice has definitely altered with age and experience. One thing that really struck me was how massively my word count has increased as the years have passed. In the early years of my blog I pretty much posted daily Monday- Friday but my posts( in my other several other blogs) were often super short with just a couple of photos and a few paragraphs of blurb. It made me ponder on which style makes for better reading- longer, chatty posts published less frequently, or short blog entries posted four or five times a week? Which do you prefer? I think I really like a mixture of the two, and that's because I like to keep my posts spontaneous and true to how I'm feeling at the time. Some pics of my non conventional house

Another view of the new doorway with the final coats of paint and the new marble flooring (Summer 2007).

My island kitchen

Anyhow, that's what's been on my mind of late, in case you were wondering. And in other news, I've got fresh flowers from my front yard potted plants on my table again and they are giving me all the happy, joyous feels, I absolutely adore red Jtropa and pin- wheel white flowers . xoxo

my front yard

this is my front yard retreat

this is the place where I listen to the birds singing,

where I watch the wind play with the green leaves of the majestic trees, if I take the name,papri ,neem ,shisham, bad, bakain, champa, (hindi names)they all are in our front parkand visible sitting in our  frpnt yard.

xoxo

 

I read some psychology .......

 this morning my cup of tea begin with a book on psychology....

Swiss psychiatrist  and psychotherapist  Carl_Jung founded the field of analytical psychology and, along with Sigmund Freud,, was responsible for popularizing the idea that a person’s interior life merited not just attention but dedicated exploration — a notion that has since propelled tens of millions of people into psychotherapy. Freud, who started as Jung’s mentor and later became his rival, generally viewed the unconscious mind as a warehouse for repressed desires, which could then be codified and pathologized and treated. Jung, over time, came to see the psyche as an inherently more spiritual and fluid place, an ocean that could be fished for enlightenment and healing.

The Law of Paradoxical Intent points out the underlying paradox of personal achievement: You can get what you want by knowing that you don’t need it to be happy! It forces you to shift your focus from a desperate intention to a peaceful pursuit. Never send out the energy that you’re willing to wait to be happy — just that you’re willing to wait for the goal. Needing a particular achievement before you can live with peace and joy creates a desperate energy that’s absolute poison to the resonance of success, so be clear about your intentions and fearless in your motivations. Pursue your goals because you want them to enhance an already happy life, not because you’ll be miserable without them.

xoxo

अटल पेंशन योजना, front park

अटल पेंशन योजना

अटल पेंशन योजना

अटल पेंशन योजना (Atal Pension Yojana) नरेंद्र मोदी सरकार की विशेष असंगठित क्षेत्र के कामगारों के लिए महत्वाकांक्षी सामाजिक सुरक्षा योजना है जिसकी घोषणा वित्तमंत्री अरूण जेटली ने 2015 के आम बजट में की. यह योजना एक जून से लागू होगी और पूर्ववर्ती सरकार की स्वावलंबन योजना एनपीएस लाईट की जगह लेगी.

इस योजना के अंशधारक 60 साल की आयु के बाद कम से 5000 रुपए मासिक पेंशन के हकदार होंगे. लोगों को इस योजना के प्रति आकर्षित करने के लिए सरकार ने अंशधारका के योगदान की 50 प्रतिशत राशि या 1000 रुपए प्रति साल का अंशदान जो भी कम हो अपनी तरफ से करने की घोषणा की है. यह अंशदान पांच साल के लिए 2015—16 से लेकर 2019—20 तक करेगी.

अब सवाल है कि स्वावलंबन योजना के मौजूदा अंशधारकों का क्या होगा? तो वे नयी योजना यानी अटल पेंशन योजना के लागू होने पर स्वत: ही उसमें विलय हो जाएंगे. हां अगर वे इससे हटना चाहते हैं तो यह उनकी मर्जी पर निर्भर करेगा. इस योजना में 18 साल से 40 साल की आयु में ही जुड़ा जा सकता है और कम से कम 20 साल अंशदान करना जरूरी होगा.

सरकार के सहयोगी अंशदान का फायदा उन्हीं अंशधारकों को ​मिलेगा जो 31 दिसंबर 2015 तक इस योजना से जुड़ते हैं. इसके तहत 60 साल की बाद से अंशधारकों को 1000 रुपए से 5000 रुपए की पेंशन मिलेगी जो कि उनके अंशदान के अनुसार तय होगी.

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 Front Park
in front of our house is fairly big  park. To be precise, 30 x 36 meters. A nice area when I say so myself. It has a jogging track…….see the paper pieces hither and thither……previously  in pond like structure that was created with continuous running water from the tap for watering the park lawn …no provision of gardener/caretaker ……there were lots of frogs  but now a days   there is the water body..But no frogs…..

just now ..no grass play ground for kids 

xoxo

Early morning sun

The early morning sun surprises our eyes and embraces us warmly. Big Brother and Little Sister  sit peacefully side by side in the living room reading newspapers and I find myself singing out mantras of sun in loud:

This is a most powerful Sun or Surya Mantra. This mantra is dedicated to the Sun or Surya; the only living God we see; without whom we cannot exist for a single moment.I used to chant this mantra 108 times at sunrise every morning after having a bath. It seems This Mantra removes all negative and malefic auras and energies me from my surroundings and ushers in the positive and powerful rays of the Sun Rays come to us through papri tree in front of our house. . This ensures that all my innermost desires get fulfilled . A new radiance comes into my being with the daily practice of this Surya Mantra. Also I offer a jug-full of water to the SUN

I took this photo from my front yard in the morning last week

"It's all right." Although these mantras are the words of Vedas but it seems the words appear from nowhere and are meant only for me. I notice that I am singing my own mantra. At least twice a day I sing affectionately for the sun - but never for myself. Why would I? But then, why would I not?
Big Brother and Little sister take enormous pleasure in a humming mama. For that brief moment, all is right.

I have craved a simple moment of pure happiness like this for weeks and weeks now. Maybe the temporary blindness, caused by the overwhelming power of the sun, made me let go of my uneased mind. And engaged me to literally listen to my intuition's voice.

xoxo

Recycled pots

Happy recycling!

view from my balcony on 7/8/2012

Dr K malhotra my friend and president of our NGO
she used to sit in balcany in morning hours for her prayer and pranayam 

 think only visuals can be helpful to fallow .............

xoxo

मेरा अनुभव, मेरी पङ-दादी, एलिजाबेथ टेलर,मेरा गाँव, हरियाणवी

एलिजाबेथ टेलर का नाम आते ही मैं किन्ही ख्यालों में खो जाती हूँ .....

क्लियोपैट्रा जैसी अनोखी फ़िल्म में अद्भुत अदाकारी दिखाने वाली अदाकारा अब इस दुनिया में नहीं रहीं. इसी वर्ष मार्च 23 2011 को उनका निधन हो गया. कल अचानक ही उनके बारे में यह नीचे दिया ...लिंक देख और पढ़ कर याद आया.... उन दिनों पंजाब केसरी खूब पढ़ा जाता था, उसी अखबार में एलिजाबेथ टेलर की आठवीं शादी के बारे में पढ़ा था. पंजाब केसरी एक अच्छा अखबार रहा था जिसमें मैने और मेरी बेटी ने अमृताप्रीतम, बलबीर कौर तिवाना, अजितकौर, बचित कौर आदि की जीवनीयाँ बराबर पढ़ी थी और खूब पढ़ी थीं जिनके संस्मरण अभी तक मानस-पटल पर बने हुए हैं. पंजाब केसरी में मेरे हस्तकारी के लेख भी शनिवार के महिला संस्करण में खूब छपे हैं. आज मेरी बेटी भी एक कवि हैं और इनमें से कई लेखिकाओं से रूबरू हुई , और कईयों से मिलती रहती है।

देखिये ऊपर खुबसूरत अदाकारा जो अब नहीं रहीं

  

फिर से एलिजाबेथ टेलर की बात पर- उनके बारे में जब भी कहीं में पढ़ती, मुझे मेरी पङ-दादी (मेरे पिताजी की दादी,great grandmaa) की याद आती थी. मेरी पङ-दादी (मेरे पिताजी की दादी) जिनका नाम हंसा था उनकी छोटी बहन अण्ची भी मेरे परिवार में ब्याही गई थी, उनके एक लङ्का होने के बाद उनके शौहर का निधन हो गया था, फिर वे मेरे पङ-दादा श्योराम के साथ ब्याही गई थी (उनका लत्ता ओढा था) जिनसे उनके एक लङ्की हुई जिसका  नाम था (जिसका जन्म मेरे पङ-दादा के देहांत होने के बाद हुआ था) उस समय वे माtr 17 वर्ष की थी. फिर उन्होंने तीसरी शादी परिवार के अन्य पुरुष चुन्लाल से की और वे दूसरे परिवार में चली गई पर मेरे दादा के साथ शादी के लिहाज से वे मेरी पङ-दादी हुई. और मेरी वह पङ- दादी बहुत-बहुत बातें बताती थी और कहानियाँ सुनाती थी, मुझे जब मौका मिलता मैं उनके पास पहुँच जाती थी, मैं उनकी कहानियों के साथ-साथ वे पुरानी बातें भी नोट कर लेती थी. इससे मेरे पास घर-परिवार के साथ-साथ कहानियों का ख़जाना इकट्ठा हो गया था.

उनके पास तीन तरह के परिवार थे उनकी पहली शादी से जो लङ्का था वह काफी अच्छी तरक्की पर था हमारे गाँव में जमीन के साथ उनके पास desh kii आजादी के बाद(आजाद हिन्द फौज़ के लिए  जवान  भेजने के एवज में) मुरब्बे (25 एकङ जमीन सुई गाँव में मिलीं हुई थी) मिले हुए थे. उनकी तीसरी शादी के बाद पैदा हुए लङ्के और आपने पति के साथ रहते हुए भी वे हम सब परिवारों से इज़्ज़त पाती थी. और उन्होंने अपनी जिंदगी अच्छी गुजारी थी. 1966 में जब मैं आठ्वीं कक्षा में आगरा में पढ़ती थी तब उनका देहांत हुआ. और एक्बारगी तो गाँव में जाने का मेरा आकर्षण  भी खत्म हो गया था.

आज एलिजाबेथ टेलर के इस लिंक के साथ ही में उनकी बात का यह हिस्सा यहाँ खत्म करती हूँ.

मेरी अपनी पड़ दादी के बारे में मैं आगे कभी जिक्र करूंगी.

Link for Elijabeth tayler: monday’s montage « Rules Of Engagement – Blog & Community for Guys & Brides – The Ring, The Proposal, The वेद्डिंग

At last upper  view from my porch 

The glorious blue along with white clouds made the incredible green leaves and yellow marrigold flowers the more stunning. We were lucky to be here to  capture beautiful pics

शब्बा खैर!!